Faded Boxers

So you’ve accidentally killed your boss. Well he might have had it coming, but surely nothing good can come out of this. Fortunately for you, The Man Blog has come up with a list of all possible solutions by which you can escape this situation unscathed.

We have worked hard to come up with all conceivable scenarios so we are quite confident that all the solutions stated below will be of great help to anyone who happen to find himself/herself in such circumstances.

1.) Now is not the time time to panic. So don’t. If you’re panicking now, stop. The only circumstances wherein it’s ok to panic is if you are the quirky sidekick, or if you are the beautiful love interest of the person who killed the boss.

2.) If you have a time machine, or can travel through time, now is the best time (Ho Ho Ho! I made a funny) to go back to the time when you have not killed your boss yet. Once you have jumped back through time, don’t kill your boss. There. Problem solved.

3.) If you’re one of the few people who do not have the ability to travel through time, then you have to resort to our next item on the list: If you have a secret identity such as a superhero, change it to it now! Quick! The rationale for this is when the police and your fellow officemates arrive at the scene, you can pretend that you were too late to stop the killer. Of course they’ll believe you because you’re a superhero! Also, make sure that your secret identity is that of a superhero.

4.) If your superpower is to turn invisible, use it now!

5.) In case you are not a superhero, but happen to be a supervillain instead; just pretend that the killing of your boss is all a part of your diabolical scheme to take over the world! They’ll let you go, because everybody always let the supervillain escape. I mean, can you count how many times Batman has fought the Joker? Exactly.

6.) However, not all of us are lucky enough to have access to all the escape plans mentioned above. No matter. Like we said before, this guide covers all possible situations. If you are not a villain of any sort, then you must be the hero. If so, then just look out the window. There will either be a jetpack/spaceship/flying car/flying balloon/sports car with your plucky female love interest just waiting outside. All you have to do is jump onto the escape vehicle and you’re home free. But what about your boss? You have to remember that you are the hero. There must have been a perfectly good reason why you killed him in the first place.

This ends our guide. If you found this guide helpful, please check out our other guides:

• So You’ve Accidentally Cut Off Your Penis
• So You’ve Accidentally Declared War on Another Country
• How Not to be Such a Fucking Moron all The Time.