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On The Invitations
Me: I’d like a 6-page fold-out so it can appropriately accommodate a picture of my cock. But the invitations for our parents don’t need to put much emphasize on my genitalia so I guess a 3-page fold-out will have to do.
Rach: Pau, we talked about this. The invitations will not feature a picture of your cock. And even if it did, we hardly need a 6-page fold—
Me: And I want some hairy bristles on the corner to represent my pubes. But make sure the bristles are made of steel. You know, for realism.
Rach: That’s it. We’re leaving. I knew it was a bad idea bringing you along to choose the wedding invitations.
Me: Hold on. I still can’t decide what font which would best go with “Rock Out With Your Cock Out!”
Continue reading ‘Wedding Preparations’
Done The Impossible, an almost 90-minute fan-made documentary about Firefly and Serenity, is now available not only for purchase on DVD, but also as a legal, authorized download as a bit torrent file, here.
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Q: Zombies! Run!
A: Now now. Zombies are people too. Zombies are just like you and me, only they’ve forgotten how to breathe quite some time ago. Just because they’re zombies, doesn’t mean that we should automatically avoid them. Hate much?
Q: But you don’t understand! There’s zombies….
A: I’m afraid you’re going to have to employ proper grammar sir. Your noun is clearly in the plural form hence you should have used “are” instead of “is.”
Q: Jesus Christ! A Fucking Zombie is…
A: Well I must say that for once your sentence construction is correct. However, I’m going to have to point out that unless my name is Jesus Christ, then you are addressing the wrong person.
Q: FUCK! ZOMBIES!!!!!
A: You are beginning to offend me. I’ll have you know that I am in a very happy relationship with my life partner. Yes, we may be living under fear of criticism and judgement, but we believe that two adult males should be able to live together without having to worry about what people may think. Having said that, I have never, or will ever be interested in—fucking zombies.
Q: AAAHHHHH! FOR THE SAKE OF FUCKING ALL THINGS FLYING! THAT ZOMBIE JUST ATE THAT BABY!
A: I don’t think I like your tone young man.
Q: WE’RE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE!
A: Well yes, you see we only get to inhibit this world for a limited amount of time. That’s why I advise you to make the most out of the time given to us. Take up a hobby or something. Like baking. Or knitting. I like knitting.
Q: AAAaaaAAaAAAAAaaaAAAAAHHHHAaaaaaHHHHH!!!!!!!
A: I’m sorry sir, but now you’re just talking nonsense. I’m going to have to end this conversation now. Good day.
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