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The wife and I barged into the bookstore and made a beeline toward the reason for our being there. We searched frantically and we searched sexily, but no amount of franticness or sexiness can produce the volume on which hinges the success of our happiness. Books dealing in bizaarre topics like cosmetic dentistry in San Diego, and practicing martial arts while working for the government were present, but not the ones we were looking for.
“WE NEED TO ASK SOMEONE!” my wife exclaimed frantically.
“I KNOW! BUT WHO?!” I replied sexily.
“IF ONLY THERE,” my wife paused to catch her breath. “WAS SOME SORT OF GUARDIAN IN THIS STORE OF BOOKS UPON WHO WE CAN ASK ABOUT OUR DILEMMA!”
“LIKE A BOOKSTORE AGENT. OR STORE MASTER!” I said as I removed my shirt and slammed it on the floor in triumph.
“Uh excuse me?” said a timid voice from somewhere at the end of the aisle.
“Well?” I said impatiently. “Speak up young knave! We have pressing matters that demand our attention!”
Continue reading ‘Foreign Language’
So after almost a year of sitting on my butt and doing an exorbitant amount of getting fat, I finally decided to go back to boxing. I used to go regularly, but I had to stop just before the wedding because my days back then were filled with me avoiding doing wedding preparations.
I vowed then that right after the honeymoon, after we’ve figured out our daily routine, I’d go back to boxing. Unfortunately, just like my promise to stop my crimefighting activities, or to get started on my dancing career, this promise was made to sit on the shelf while a masked, flamenco-dancing vigilante roamed the streets ensuring a better tomorrow for all of us.
You’re welcome by the way.
Continue reading ‘How I almost passed out at the gym’
One of my favorite online books has finally made the transition from the internet into the real world.
Before I go on, I’m going to go on a tangent and take this opportunity to point out how much I admire/envy this David Wong (not his real name) character.
First of all, he’s half of the writing team behind Pointlesswasteoftime.com, a comedy site which I credit for inspiring 80% of all the so called “comedy articles” I’ve written in this blog. If Mike is bastardizing Jason Mulgrew, I am bastardizing PWOT (With a little Jay Pinkerton and Mack Leighty thrown into the mix). Granted that I have yet to come close to the quality of the articles to be found on PWOT, I still find myself plugging along hoping I get to entertain at least two of the four people who visit my blog regularly.
Continue reading ‘JDATE Now on Amazon! YAY!’
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