Monthly Archive for February, 2008

No More Wiiroes

Didn’t think I’ll be writing about this game this soon since I wasn’t planning on playing it, let alone finishing it, until after I’ve played through all of my much older games. But a couple of things bumped this game up to number 2 of the “Things I Will Play With” list. Just below “myself.”

The first thing was the two games I was currently playing, Trauma Center: New Blood and The Godfather: Blackhand Edition were proving to be too big for my puny gaming abilities. Which leads me to conclude that they suck.

The second was I saw Sylvia Christel in the No More Heroes trailer:

Yeah. There was no way I was putting off playing the game after seeing that. But as you’ll see (if you bother to continue reading this entry that is), the game is not just a thinly veiled excuse to give fan service to prepubescent (ok, it appeals to us old guys too) anime fanbois. The game, in a nutshell, is pure unadulterated fun.

Well actually there’s a third reason. But there’s no way in hell I’m admitting how the wife made me watch all Princess Hours episodes in the span of less than a week so I was in desperate need of some murders right after. Wait.

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How to Quit Being a Ninja

Are you getting tired of all the shit that ninjas have to put up with just to get through the day? People cross the street when they see you walking. Dogs hate you because they can never sense whenever you’re near. The Pirate kids down the street keep egging your house while shouting “We’re way cooler than you!”

Then your neighbors are always updating their state of the art home security systems (which never succeeds in stopping you from sneaking in and “borrowing” some stuff like sugar, milk, and kidneys). It’s hard for you to find a place to stay because your roommates have a tendency of disappearing on you. You can’t even find a date because the Ninja Code you live by prohibits you from uploading your real pic in your Friendster profile page:

Also:

So we’re here to help you to leave your Ninja ways behind and successfully to assimilate yourself into society. Below is a short list of scenarios designed to point you toward a happier existence with the people around you.

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