Just like the Bible. But on the Internet.
If you guys are following me on Twitter, chances are you may be privy to an incident I had which involves my teeth getting a little too familiar with my tongue.
And whether or not you wanted photographic proof of said incident, I thought it necessary to supply it all the same. Because I’m a nice guy like that.
Fact # 1: Order as much as you want. Because chances are, your rich Chinese Tycoon groupmate is going to pick up the bill. Like he did a couple of times before.
Fact #2: Try not to blurt out “WHO THE HELL IS RICHARD?! WE DON’T HAVE A RICHARD IN THE GROUP!” Because chances are, Richard is the dude sitting in front of you whose name you can’t recall.
So I know this guy. Let’s call him, um, Schmau. So Schmau was enjoying a concert of sorts which was called the, erm, Schmanana Schmangbang Schmock Schmestival. As the night progressed, it eventually became more and more apparent to him that his bladder was quite inadequate to accommodate the amount of liquor he has been ingesting since he arrived.
Schmau, being the slave to his bodily functions that he is, did what any self respecting person would do; he dutifully headed straight to the bathroom to drain the lizard.
Upon entering the the bathroom, Pau Schmau saw to his dismay that the urinal was placed at a much higher level than what he was accustomed to. Rather than spend time contemplating the injustice done to people who happen to be short in stature, but big in heart (and crotch); Schmau decided to quit dicking around, and plow ahead, so he could get to the point. (Yeah, I did something there. See if you can see it.)
As he started to unbutton his fly, Schmau discovered that while he still had full control over his hands, seven of his fingers appear to have decided to turn themselves into pudding at this point. Schmau would have shaken his fists at the bottles of beer he had, but that would entail full control over all his digits.
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