Faded Boxers

Want to go on my special diet? It’s easy! Here’s how in just 3 simple steps:

1. Try to get sick of some obscure disease. It’s up to you to decide what diseases will work best for you. For those who want to shed off their unwanted pounds faster, you don’t have to limit yourself to just one disease! I personally find IGT with a combination of GERD, and a healthy dose of Psoriasis to be quite effective.
2. Go to the doctor. Have him/her prescribe you a ton of meds that will make your stomach so unstable that you involuntarily move your bowels everytime you sneeze.
3. Sneeze. A lot.

Special notes:

• Remember to stock up on adult diapers.
• If you have a super hero alter-ego, or are pursuing a career fighting crime; now would be a good time to take a vacation. Upholding justice while doing your doo-doo in your stretch pants is not the most dignified way of going about it. Also, wearing adult diapers under your super hero costume may seem like a good idea at first, but is actually isn’t. Trust me, I know.
• You can eat corn to make things more interesting.

There, that wasn’t so hard wasn’t it? I can practically hear you losing weight just reading this!

Leave me a comment to tell me how effective it was for you. If I can get enough testimonials, I’m thinking of getting a patent on what I’ve decided to call The Holy Shit Diet!