Faded Boxers

Man Blog editors reenacting Erik Morales’s final
moments in the ring

After suffering a very humiliating defeat in his previous fight with Erik Morales, Manny Pacquiao finally achieves victory in a rematch fight last January 21 at the Thomas & Mack Center in Las Vegas Nevada.

With the hopes of an entire country resting on his shoulders, Manny Pacquiao vowed not to disappoint his countrymen who have started to look to him as a source of inspiration in a time of political and economical instability.

Pacquiao, a former child star, turned crime fighter, turned boxer who secretly fights crime as masked crusader Squancho told us the secret for his success: “My wife told me we get to have sex! And this time, I get to take my clothes off!”

We caught up with Erik Morales to ask for his thoughts about the fight; “It wasn’t a boxing match, it was a flurry of fistfucks that totally fucked with my face!” During the time, Mr. Morales was in the emergency room having the words “OWNED!” and the less common, but more painful “PWNED!” surgically removed from various parts of his body. Howls of “I think my face may be pregnant!” filled the halls of the hospital as we left Morales to his fate.

While Morales had the size and the strength,
he was not quick enough to grab the mushroom
power-ups that would have given him the
advantage over Pacquiao.

When we asked The People’s Champ about the rigorous training regimen he employed for this match, he replied with:

“Training?”

“Yeah, how did you prepare to fight a fighter that fought a better fight the last time you fought?”

“Oh you mean Morales? Actually, a couple of months ago, I went home with lipstick stains on my boxer shorts and my wife has been beating the crap out of me since. I just decided to get back in the ring with Morales to take a break, you know? At least I don’t have to cuddle with him afterwards.”

Pacquiao in training.

We would have gotten more quotes from Manny Pacquiao, but he had to cut the interview short saying “Excuse me gents, but there’s a lot of sex to be had, and seeing that none of you have any tits—”

“Mike does.” I said helpfully.

“…right. The point is, I gotta go,” said The People’s Champ as he walked away on what appeared to be three legs.