Faded Boxers

Erik Morales made true his promise to kick ass last March 20 as he defeated Manny Pacquiao by turning his head into a gigantic talking butt.

“Things were going all right right up until the fifth round, then all of a sudden I heard this loud POP! From then on, all I could see was an ASS with an AFRO—an ASSfro!,” exlaimed a bewildered Pacquiao.

Witnesses sitting close to the ring reportedly heard Morales taunting Pacquiao with words like: “I’m going to eat you!,” “I just had a big ass burrito for lunch and it’s all coming back up baby,” “I feel so OPEN when I’m with you,” “You CRACK me up Manny!,” “I feel like dancing with you…CHEEK TO CHEEK!,” and “Bet you’re wondering how a blowjob from me feels like!”

By the tenth round, Pacquaio, unable to continue, dropped his gloves and started running around the ring screaming “Sweet mother of fuck, GETAWAYFROMME!” He was later joined by the referee, judges, and most of the people from the audience.

“You have to understand dude, it was a giant ASS! What if I punched him and—-d-did you see the size of that ass?!,” said Pacquiao who had taken to sucking his thumb and singing Broadway songs before he was sedated. “But I must concede to the better ASS. It was a great ASS and I ASS forward to ASSing that ASS in the near ASS,” went on Pacquiao before being carried away in a straight jacket.

“Fists may win you fights, but ASS is forever,” said Erik Morales’s manager Arnold Manhandler. Morales was unavailable for comment as he was busy drinking out of a toilet bowl.

Morales won by decision with a score of 113 to ASS.

Morales in training.