Faded Boxers

If you have half a brain and have been on Earth for any amount of time, you’d know who Neil Gaiman is, and how he is a god among men. When he announced that he’ll be in town this year, Pinoy bloggers have been tirelessly documenting his every move to ensure that the book signing will proceed as planned, and wasn’t just a drug-induced rumor.

Now that things are pretty much set in stone regarding his trip to the PI, I was faced with the embarrassing truth that while I own most of Neil’s books, they’re all in paperback instead of hardbound. Showing up at a book signing armed only with dilapidated copies of Neverwhere, Stardust, Good Omens, and American Gods did not seem like a very dignified way of greeting the dream king.

When I made my quandary known to Anansi Girl, she made this simple but brilliant suggestion that I should go ask Neil himself.

Maybe it was the ungodly hour or 5-day old puttanesca I had for lunch, but I decided to follow AG’s advice where I would have usually shrugged it off in favor of downloading more porn.

So I posted the question via his blog then very easily forgot about it. I mean, how often do celebrities find time to read their fan mail? Imagine my surprise when just a few hours after posting my question, he had not only read it, but also took the time to write a very detailed response, and post it in his blog.

Granted that he didn’t post my name or anything, but you see that question at the top of the page? In bold letters? I wrote that. My words will forever be immortalized in association with Neil Gaiman. It’s a beautiful day.

Doubtless he was impressed by my wit and charm. I’m sure the normal person couldn’t possibly abstract the level of wit and eloquence from a couple of sentences, but Neil and I are two of a kind. Brothers of the pen even. Or keyboard, depending on the preferred mode of writing.

Also, you can’t tell right now, but I’m typing this post sexily.

Anyway, I’m sure Neil was able to identify a fellow writer of the same caliber as him and has deemed it worthy to hasten a worthy reply my way.

Why, I bet that he’s already planning on blowing off a couple of book signing dates in the country to meet me for tea or something. He’ll pick my brains about a couple of things he’s been having trouble with while writing his next book, and I’ll ask who does his hair.

He might even ask me to write it with him, to which I politely decline. The offer may be tempting, but I could never to that to Neil. Because that would be like, cheating. I’d be like “Neil old chap, I don’t come begging for help whenever I’m having trouble with my blog.” He’ll look at his shoes sheepishly, and I laugh to signify that I am not mad, just a wee disappointed.

Then we finish our tea and go on our separate ways, but not without him making me promise to “Friendster him.”