Faded Boxers

I’m blogging from some coffee shop at the Mall which Mike promised had free wifi. Apparently it doesn’t, so later on, he and I are gonna have words. Speaking of words, Mike is a douche. Speaking of douche, the table just across from me is being occupied by a group of respectable looking elderly dudes who apparently went to school together. Speaking of school, Mike’s gonna get a schooling on his ass the likes of which has never been seen in an ass school.

So the old dudes in front of me have been talking about stuff like expensive cars and how much they’re gonna get taxed for buying said expensive cars. A little while ago, their conversation suffered a brief lapse when two extremely hot women passed in between our tables. As the dudes and I proceeded to observe the pretty young lasses, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’m gonna reach that point in my life when my buddies and I can get together and talk about expensive cars and ogle beautiful women while secretly wishing our peckers were still working. We’d talk about our travels abroad, about how one of our wives got a botox in Chicago, and how Mike is still a douche after all these years. Which is funny considering none of my friends even knew Mike.

So in conclusion, I love Mike. I think he’s swell.