I started to approach the Human Resources Officer to hand in my resume, but I stopped in midstride before I got too close to him.
Sensing my apprehension, he approached me and asked if he could help me.
“Um….no. I think I’ve made a mistake,” I stammered.
“What do you mean sir?” he asked while glancing at the resume I held in my hands. “I see you’re here about our job opening?”
“I —gotta go. I gotta do something.”
“Wait sir, is anything wrong?” said the HR officer as he reached to stop me.
“GAY your hands agay from me!” I blurted out.
The HR officer was taken aback. “I beg your pardon?”
“Look, I don’t want any trouble. I know of your kind, and I think you’re alright. But I just don’t gay that gay. Maybe tomorrow, but not TOGAY!”
The HR officer looked mildly annoyed, but immediately regained his composure. “Sir, I don’t know where you are getting your information, but I assure you I am not a homosexual.”
“I’m so sorry for this mistake. I don’t know what to gay. I hope we can put this behind us. I’ll just leave and wish you a nice gay. O-Gay?”
“EXCUSE ME?!”
“Also, all this excitement’s gotten me thirsty. Tell me, where can I buy a bottle of GAYtorade?”
“NOW Listen here! I will not—”
I glanced at the TV in the lobby which was tuned into HBO. “Gay, isn’t that Tom Cruise?”
“That’s it. Get the fuck out of here. GUARD!”
“Is your favorite President GAYbraham Lincoln? Who is your favorite Muppet? Is it Kermit the FAG? Aw come on, don’t be like that, let’s go to the bar and I’ll buy you a couple of queers. Seriously, let’s be friends. I’m actually bending over backwards to be nice to you,” I said as I was dragged away by the security guards with their huge nightsticks.
Recent Comments