I’m writing to you because I’m so depressed. Life just isn’t turning out the way I thought it would.
First of all, I haven’t been getting much sleep lately.
I like sleeping face down, but that presents a problem because I have an unusually large cock. It keeps puncturing my bed (I own a waterbed because no other bedding material can relax me so). Before, I would just buy waterbeds everday to replenish my supply. But since that had become tedious, I simply bought all the waterbed stores and their respective companies in the country just so I wouldn’t have to keep on withdrawing money from one of my several Swiss bank accounts.
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