50 Reasons Why Sesame Street Sucks!
- After years of research and poring over old tapes of this so called educational TV show, we’ve reached the conclusion that a lot of the characters were not played by real people! How does it feel to fool several generations of children Mr. Henson?
- Our investigative staff has informed us that there never was a company or institution called “Letter A” or “The Number 2″ or other similar variations. So no such entity could have sponsored any of Sesame Street’s episodes. I wonder what other lies this show has been feeding us throughout the years.
- For years, a lot of controversy have surrounded the characters “Bert & Ernie” claiming that they were gay. Our research have turned up no such evidence to back up those rumors. They act and live like the rest of the TMB staff; living together, cooking meals for each other, giving each other baths while one is unconscious, etc. Which leads us to believe that such rumors have been perpetrated by the producers themselves to generate publicity for their dying show.
- Some members of the TMB staff are still unsure about the difference between “near” and “far” since the sexual deviant known as “Grover” did nothing but to demonstrate his moonwalking prowess to the audience.
- After long hours in the laboratory, and in my bedroom, we have proven that no frog will ever fall in love with a pig. Not even after we took turns in fucking the pig to make the frog jealous.
- Also, we just realized that a frog doesn’t have the necessary genitalia to satisfy a pig. But I do. Booyah.
- I know for a fact that a “Big Bird” does not look anything like that.
- My wife agrees.
- No I don’t! — Pau’s wife.
- The character “Mr. Hooper” is not dead. He was just written off the show by the producers because he was getting too cocky and started demanding more money to support his then fledgling business “Hooters.” I’m sure the producers are now kicking themselves in the groin for severing all ties with a potentially huge advertiser.
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