I’m sorry to have to tell it to you this way, but I don’t think we can hang out together anymore. I know that this may come as a shock to you considering we’ve had nothing but laughs in the three weeks that we’ve been roomies, but to be perfectly honest with you, things haven’t been going so great between us.
From the very first moment that we’ve met, I knew that we were going to get along fine judging from the way you didn’t kill me onsite the way you killed your other potential roommates who made the mistake asking you “What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?” It is due to my awareness that ninjas aren’t much talkers that not only was I able to escape with my life that day, I’ve also made a friend.
Everything went well for the next few days. I’d teach you how to play badminton and how to speak. And you would teach me the vast benefits of comfortable silences. I however thought that it was too much when you decapitated the bully who was making fun of my knee high socks at the gym; but since nobody decided to press charges, plus the fact that you disappeared in a puff of smoke while benchpressing 300 lbs., I guess it was no biggie. Continue reading ‘An Open Letter to my Roommate The Ninja’
Q: Zombies! Run!
A: Now now. Zombies are people too. Zombies are just like you and me, only they’ve forgotten how to breathe quite some time ago. Just because they’re zombies, doesn’t mean that we should automatically avoid them. Hate much?
Q: But you don’t understand! There’s zombies….
A: I’m afraid you’re going to have to employ proper grammar sir. Your noun is clearly in the plural form hence you should have used “are” instead of “is.”
Q: Jesus Christ! A Fucking Zombie is…
A: Well I must say that for once your sentence construction is correct. However, I’m going to have to point out that unless my name is Jesus Christ, then you are addressing the wrong person.
Q: FUCK! ZOMBIES!!!!!
A: You are beginning to offend me. I’ll have you know that I am in a very happy relationship with my life partner. Yes, we may be living under fear of criticism and judgement, but we believe that two adult males should be able to live together without having to worry about what people may think. Having said that, I have never, or will ever be interested in—fucking zombies.
Q: AAAHHHHH! FOR THE SAKE OF FUCKING ALL THINGS FLYING! THAT ZOMBIE JUST ATE THAT BABY!
A: I don’t think I like your tone young man.
Q: WE’RE ALL GOING TO FUCKING DIE!
A: Well yes, you see we only get to inhibit this world for a limited amount of time. That’s why I advise you to make the most out of the time given to us. Take up a hobby or something. Like baking. Or knitting. I like knitting.
Q: AAAaaaAAaAAAAAaaaAAAAAHHHHAaaaaaHHHHH!!!!!!!
A: I’m sorry sir, but now you’re just talking nonsense. I’m going to have to end this conversation now. Good day.
If I haven’t been blogging much, is because I was busy working on the video you see below. I originally wanted to use Flash, but I’d have to be much bigger geek than I am now.
If it looks familiar, it’s because it was inspired by much better videos like:
Q: Zombies! Run!
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