“Pau! I came as soon as I got your message. It sounded urgent. What’s wrong?” Rach asked as she arrived at my house. She surveyed her surroundings, somewhere among the wreckage of what used to be my room, she finally found me under an overturned bookcase. “What’s wrong?!” she repeated.
“It—it’s my iPod,” I managed to blurt out in between sobs.
“You—I—-WHAT?” It’s a small consolation seeing her as stunned as I am over the situation. “I ran out a very important meeting over an iPod?!” Apparently I have a problem discerning between “pissed” and “stunned.”
“I would cut short your head over my iPod!” In my defense, I really love my iPod.
She took a deep breath, counted to 47, and stopped turning purple long enough to ask me “Fine, what’s wrong with it?”
“It won’t work!”
“It must be the batteries. Have you tried charging it?”
“Don’t trivialize my problems woman! My iPod is doing it on purpose!”
“Pau, what are you on?” She asked as she slowly tries to move any sharp object from within my reach.
“She’s doing it on purpose! She’s going on strike! Luouella is doing this to hurt me!”
“Why on Earth would—you call your iPod Luouella?”
“It reminds me of a less complicated time.”
“Anyway, why on earth would it—she do this on purpose?”
“She’s getting back at me for forgetting to play She Loves My Cock yesterday.
It was around this time that Rach suddenly remembered she had something more important to do. Something about staying the hell away from me. Anyway, now that I’m left to my own devices, I decided to take a proactive step in solving my problem. I will no longer be held captive by Luouella’s wily ways. I shall replace her. Yes, that’ll show her.
So I searched the internet for a worthy replacement, but alas, the information that I require cannot be found. Not even so called Comprehensive MP3 Player Comparisons can tell me what I need to know.
Once again, I must depend on myself for the answer. So owing to hours and hours of research, and my knack for shoplifting without feeling any guilt, I have finally tried and tested several MP3 players so like minded individuals in the same predicament may benefit from my experience.
I bring to you now: PAU’S MP3 PLAYER COMPARISON!
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