Faded Boxers

When I first read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy, I was immediately caught up with the sheer genius of it all. Never before had I come across a body of work that contained all there is to know about the universe that was worth knowing.

So what if it’s all been made up? It makes a hell of a lot more sense than the truth: Human beings are only the third smartest life forms on Earth (everybody knows this). The single purpose of all manner of life on this planet is to fuel a big cosmic experiment (I knew it!). The key to flying is to throw yourself to the ground and miss (Oh My God!). And the ultimate answer to Life, the Universe, Everything is 42 (Holy Christ YES!).

It was because of this and more that I summarily decided that it would be my favorite book of all time. That was when I was only halfway through the book. I’ve long since finished the books and my initial assessment still stands.

Understandably, I would have high standards for the movie. Based on what happened with the LOTR movies, meeting my standards is not impossible. Though Peter Jackson created a flawed trilogy based on an even more flawed body of work by Tolkien, he (they) made it possible to simply forgive all the stuff he (they) did wrong.

Also, I was of the belief that The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy books are unfilmable, even more so than the LOTR books. The reason for this is because the narrator in the H2G2 books was as much as a character as Arthur Dent and company. Since I believe that a narrator has no place in such a visual medium as film, I have always been uncomfortable with movies that make use of narrators (ie. the LOTR films).

However, I was more than ready to let the presence of a narrator slide for the H2G2 movie for the reason stated above. Fortunately, it was one of the elements of the movie that actually worked, but more on that later.

What I Liked:

Kudos to the casting director for putting together an ensemble that was born to play the characters I loved in the books. Love Actually alumni Martin Freeman, Alan Rickman, and Bill Nighy properly represented for the Brits with their pitch perfect interpretations of Arthur Dent, the voice of Marvin the Paranoid Android, and Slartibartfast respectively.

I’m glad that the character of Trillian was given more to do in this movie because she was nothing more than a piece of furniture in the books. And Zooey Deschanel gave the character a hint of sensitivity and humor that wasn’t apparent on paper. The most controversial casting decision was that of Mos Def in the Ford Prefect role. Longtime fans of the series were chewing their nails, anxious to see if he can pull it off. Fortunately, has laid all fears to rest with his well-contained performance.

Excellent as the rest of the cast is, nobody can come close to Sam Rockwell. This is an actor who has consistently turned in excellent performance after excellent performance, regardless of the quality of the movie (ie. Charlie’s Angels). It’s about time that he be given a major role, and what he did with the character of Zaphod Beeblebrox was nothing short of fantastic.

In the books, Zaphod was cocky, self absorbed, and stupid. Only an actor with Sam Rockwell’s caliber would take take all these qualities and use it to turn Zaphod into a rock star. Genius. He not only owned the character, but he effectively carried the bulk of the movie on his shoulders. This is his breakaway film, and hopefully he attracts bigger projects in the future.

It is a testament to great casting and acting when you go back to read the source material and you can’t imagine anybody else but the actors mentioned above playing the crew of the Heart Of Gold.

What I didn’t like:

Before the H2G2 was a book, it was a series of radio plays. And since then, it has been turned into a couple of movies, studio albums, and even a video game. Each adaptation required significant revisions each time. Hence, nobody, not even Douglas Adams himself, knows the true version of the stories.

Inevitably, this latest incarnation of the stories would involve even more revisions. Had they been smart revisions, I would have been ok with that. Unfortunately, these changes fail to make sense to me.

The most glaring change was the subplot involving John Malkovich. The whole arc felt tacked on, was left unresolved, and effectively does nothing to move the story forward. If I were to guess, I’d say that the decision for the change was fueled by an executive decision to insert a plot device for the romance between Arthur and Trillian, and to ensure a continuing storyline for the sequels. This totally messed up what the whole experience was for me.

The books didn’t pay much attention to plot and character development because frankly, it didn’t want to. It was more concerned with having fun and going off into a million tangents at once. The movie on the other hand, wanted a linear plot and character development so the majority of the audience can have something to latch on to. This not only alienated a vast majority of the fans of the books, but it weighed the movie down that it grew tedious to watch towards the end. I was really looking for the tangents that were in abundance in the books. The tangents were the reason why I was fully prepared to accept the narrator’s role in the movie. Unfortunately, these tangentical explanations were kept at a minimum in the movie.

But my biggest beef with the movie was that it failed to tackle a very dominant image in the story: TOWELS.

Anybody who knows me would say that I am never seen without a towel. I never leave home without it, and I always have one handy. For years, I had to put up with the teasing and unwanted attention brought upon by this undefendable habit. I was even carrying a towel when I went up on stage to get my high school diploma.

In the book, Ford Prefect was also never seen without a towel; and consequently made a convert of Arthur Dent after a very funny discussion. The towel discussion was THE discussion that I was expecting to be in the movie. When I saw that they just glazed over the explanation concerning the towels, a small part of me died inside. The exclusion was stupid, careless, and leaves a lot of newcomers scratching their heads.

Much as there are still a lot of things to enjoy about the movie, I can never consider it a worthy companion to the books.