If you guys are following me on Twitter, chances are you may be privy to an incident I had which involves my teeth getting a little too familiar with my tongue.
And whether or not you wanted photographic proof of said incident, I thought it necessary to supply it all the same. Because I’m a nice guy like that.
So it’s been almost a week and let me show you the progress of my injury:
Yeah. Sucks to be me. At least the bleeding’s stopped. Thank goodness for small blessings. But apparently, that small piece of tongue which I inadvertently liberated from the fold, refuses to be reunited with the rest of the guys. I can’t say I blame him. They do have a tendency of producing a certain smell as the day wears on.
Me being me, I refuse to go see a doctor about this predicament because half of me can’t get over the notion of the doctor sewing the pieces back together. Or worse, stapling the shit out of them. The other half is still hoping for Betamax to make a comeback. But that’s another story.
So unless I am overcome with an urge to subject my tongue to a variety of things that make you go “OUCH!,” I’m left with no other choice than to make the most of the situation.
Who knows, maybe if I played my cards right, this anatomical flaw may just be exploited to become a superpower of sorts. I could be Tongue Flap Man!
PREVIOUSLY, ON HEROES…
Peter Petrelli: Holy Shit! We’re trapped in this underground cavern! We have no light, we’re running out of air, and we’ve got no food with us!
Pau (Tongue Flap Man): Fear not o friend of little faith and man flesh. I’ve got a morsel of food stuck underneath this flap in my tongue because I forgot to brush my teeth this morning! WE SHALL BE FED!
Peter Petrelli: HOLY SHIT!
Claire Bennet: We’re saved! I shall have sex with your face now in a way that will break the time space continuum and will result in there being two Claires having sex. With your face.
TO BE CONTINUED…
Or I can fight bad guys by making them want to kill themselves by showing them my tongue.
Or something.
What an excuse! I know what you did! You had a tongue ring placed there and now you’re telling us it’s a biting accident! You can’t get pass through me you know!
er. Just bite the flap off. You’ll probably mistake it as food and bite it off at some point anyway.
Then again, have you tried whistling?
@Joel: Dude, if I was going to have a tongue ring, I’d have it on my cock! What?
@Chris: No way dude! Right now, I’m going to try and scotch the bitch until it learns its place.
Also, I honestly can’t whistle even when my tongue was in one piece.
That scene with two Claires is extremely disturbing - this is the first thing I read this morning. WTF. *tambling*
But, your tongue looks okay. You can take a bite at it again. LOL
That’s hot. What?
@ Poyt Would it be more disturbing if I said “Three Claires”? Because I’m actually thinking about that now. Hmmmmm.
Also, my tongue says it hates you!
@ Coco: No, YOU’RE HOT! WHAT.
No, “Three Peters” would be even more disturbing.
I’m thinking of something witty to say, but I just remembered the time I almost bit off my tongue and I’m… shuddering.
Suddenly have the urge to have lengua for dinner.
you must get that nice feeling when you gargle with listerine after brushing.
@Poyt Well, not really. I mean I’m man enough to admit that Peter Petrelli is kinda dreamy. But I can probably only sleep with one of him. I’m not that gay.
@Ade In the words of the wise Baddie: “I feel you man. I feel you up.”
@Steel Nakakasakita ka na ha.
@cigarette-girl Well since then, I’ve stayed away from brushing my teeth or even gargling. It’s….liberating.
food stuck underneath this flap in my tongue because I forgot to brush my teeth this morning! - Ok now THAT is disturbing. Also, eeewwwww.
PUTANGINA ALL THOSE PICTURES OF A TONGUE ZOOMED IN IS MAKING ME HORNY! PENNY! HOLD ME!!!!